"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
