I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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