we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
