i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
