Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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