After last night, I could never be a politician.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
