Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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