Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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