he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wish there were birth control emojis
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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