You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
