dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
