You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
