i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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