Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And then my night got REAL pukey
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
