so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
