i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
