We won't sleep together?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
