as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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