I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
