The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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