Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
