dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
