So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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