weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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