so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Drake has all the answers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
