at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
