she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
