I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
