You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
