The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
