Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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