How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's like iHOP with fire
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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