i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
try to milk me bitch
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
