At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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