Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
