dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
