she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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