i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
