I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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