its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
