She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
