Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
