so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
