So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
