You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just pee around me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
