...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
More tranny stories later!
I wish my penis had an off switch
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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