What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
