I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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