So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
