no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
