I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your penis caused this!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
