How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i would punch a child for taco bell
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize