im drinking this country out of the recession.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's shark week go big or go home
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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