That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
