Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
