The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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