is your mom at the bar?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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