Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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