I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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