I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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