That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
