so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
