The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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