I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
