Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
