Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
